I recently presented a virtual training on coaching skills for managers. One of the activities focused on listening. For two minutes, the manager just had to listen to their partner and then repeat back what they heard. Sounds easy, right?
Well, there is one comment I hear every time I do this activity. Can you guess what it is?
“It was so nice to be able to talk and just be heard.”
I’ve been coaching business owners, executives, and managers for almost twenty years now. In the last few weeks, there’s been a common theme with nearly every coaching client.
I’m not sure what I should do.
What should I do about reopening, social distancing, and overall safety? What should I do to support my employees and colleagues who are hurting? What can I do about the injustice that I see in my community? Should I send my kids back to daycare or summer camps now that restrictions are lifting?
People don’t want to do the wrong thing. They don’t want to say the wrong thing.
No answers. Just questions.
After high school, I did a gap year (way before that was a thing!) in Oldenburg, Germany before starting college. I studied German for four years in high school, and my teachers prepared me to expect a period of adjustment when I arrived.
The culture shock was real!
By Jill Mueller
Trips to the grocery store are no longer the leisurely errand that they used to be. Mask? Check. Hand sanitizer? Check. Grocery list that includes every item needed in order of store location? Check.
And all of that is before even walking through the sliding door!
Personally, I have made the choice to shop exclusively at stores that have arrows on the ground pointing everyone in the same direction and tape marking six feet spaces so you know how far back to stay in line. Love it. These precautions greatly reduce my anxiety when grocery shopping right now.
This past weekend, I was going up and down the aisles wondering if rice would be in stock (it wasn’t) or if SpaghettiOs would be on the shelf again (they were!). Everyone I saw was wearing a face covering, heeding the arrows, and staying somewhat six feet apart.
And then I got to the soup aisle.
When I started working at Senator Kohl’s office, it was my first time managing people. Needless to say I had a lot to learn. We did annual performance evaluations, and most of my team members dreaded them. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t exactly look forward to them either!
I thought an effective way to evaluate their performance was to spend most of the meeting telling them all the ways in which they had (or had not) met expectations and then set their new goals for the coming year. This was my chance to be a great boss and turn them into better employees! I needed to have all the answers.
But then I got certified in coaching, and I started to see the flaws (and there were LOTS of flaws) in my approach. It turned out that my desire to prove myself meant I was overlooking something really important: partnering with the employee and asking their opinion.
I also learned from the Senator himself. He was masterful at holding his employees as the experts and asking lots of questions.
