Darcy Luoma Coaching and Consulting

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I See What You Are Doing There

There are so many things I love about my colleague, Jill. 

But one of them is the fact that she gets me. For instance, Jill knows that I like it when my work is recognized. If I’m working hard, I like it when someone else notices it. And without fail, Jill notices. Always. She notices when I go the extra mile. She notices when I work through something challenging. And she recognizes me for a job well done (and I know it’s sincere because she also gives me critical, tough, valuable feedback when I didn’t do so well). 

The impact of this is that I love working with her, and I look forward to our conversations. Her recognition motivates me to want to keep doing good and working hard. And I’m not alone. 

[Read more…]

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Difficult Conversations Don’t Need to be so Difficult

balance your courage compassion and curiosity shoes walking on stick jeans shoes green grass

Have you ever been part of a conversation where everyone is talking, but it doesn’t feel like anyone is listening?

There’s a reason that there are thousands of books, articles, and podcasts on communication. It’s a universal people problem, and it’s one we see all the time when we’re working with teams.

Communication skills are something that you need regardless of what industry you work in. Even if you work in a cube on a computer all day and never have to talk to clients or customers, you still have to communicate with your colleagues, or at the very least your boss.

In order to be successful, you have to find the BALANCE of three C’s to communicate effectively: courage, compassion, and curiosity. You need all three in order to have a conversation that balances what you want or needs with what the other person wants or needs. If you’re missing any of these three… well that’s when conversations get difficult.

Let’s take a closer look at all three C’s.

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What are you not talking about?

During a recent coaching session, my client Gina wanted to discuss an issue she was having with two of her sales managers, Jack and Diane. Let me just give you the headlines. (Names and specific details have been changed to protect confidentiality!)

Gina asked Jack and Diane to talk to their employees about how to meet with new clients in the third quarter (since meeting in person has become much more difficult) and then work together to prepare a report outlining potential strategies and their recommendations. (From Gina: I told them to get me their findings in two weeks. This shouldn’t have been difficult.)

In their next check-in meeting with Gina, where they should’ve given a quick update on their progress, Jack and Diane were arguing about how to tackle the project, and they made the case for why they should individually work on it. (She couldn’t believe they wasted a week doing nothing!)

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Stop Asking the Wrong Questions

We have encouraged you to bring your inner coach to work. Wondering what that means? Worried that you need to be ready to teach everybody how to do their jobs and call all the plays? Not sure how to do that given all the additional challenges in the world right now?

Good news, coaching is all about getting other people to help you do the work. With my clients, I don’t need to figure out exactly what they need to do. My job is to help them figure out what they want or need to do next.

And if you are coaching at work, you get everyone else to problem-solve and innovate.

How does this happen? By getting curious and asking lots of questions.

[Read more…]

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Read the Room

As a consultant, reading the room is really important. If I am at a team retreat and notice that everyone is walking in and sitting far away from each other with their arms crossed, I know I’m going to earn my paycheck that day. But if everyone is walking in joking around with a cup of coffee and a smile? My job is going to be much easier!

One of the most important skills for being a leader is to be able to understand what’s happening beneath the surface and help it rise to the top in a productive way.  [Read more…]

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