Now that I have confessed all the things that make me behave less than admirably, hopefully you’re feeling better knowing that you are not alone if you aren’t Thoughtfully Fit all the time!
All this self awareness is hard work, and with today’s hectic schedules staying calm is harder than ever. We all get it not quite right sometimes, and that’s life.
Here are a couple of do’s and don’ts:
- DO try to learn from your mistakes. What could you do differently next time? What other behaviors might have gotten you to a better outcome, or at least left you feeling okay about your own role in the situation?
- DO think about where you might have missed a chance to pause. Pumping the brakes on some of our default reactions is the easiest way to avoid saying things you later regret.
- DON’T beat yourself up. Honestly, there’s really nothing to be gained from sitting around feeling bad about what you did. Now, I am famous for keeping myself up all night trying to interpret an email I was silly enough to open at
10pm, and I can promise you that nothing good ever comes of it. Ever. Let it go!
- DON’T be afraid to apologize. Sometimes it feels hard to bring tough situations up again after the fact, but apologies often open the door to learning and deeper connection. And people always appreciate your circling back to say ‘Hey! I was a jerk. Sorry about that.’
Trying and failing is better than not trying
The fact that you’re reading this blog means you are already doing the hard work of educating yourself. So there is no need to feel bad that you don’t get it right all the time. Neither do I.
One of the most important things, not just in a quest to be Thoughtfully Fit but in all parts of life, is to be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best, right? You know you didn’t wake up today trying to offend as many people as possible. (There are people like that, but I am almost positive that the venn diagram of people who like offending others and people who like this blog is empty.) So on days when you realize that you are not being especially Thoughtfully Fit, pause and tune into yourself, try to figure out what’s pushing your buttons, give yourself a time out, figure out what you can learn from it, and then let it go and try to do better next time.
With practice, you’ll find that the pause becomes more automatic, and it gets easier to show up the way you want the first time. Until then, be nice to you and do your best. We’re all in this together.