Once again, your passive aggressive colleague is sitting in your team meeting, arms crossed, eyes rolling, and not contributing. Do you call him out and embarrass him in front of the room? Say nothing in the moment but complain to others in the hallway after the meeting? Chances are neither of those will get you very far, but what if I told you there was a third choice?
Choose to be thoughtful in moments of conflict
Dealing with conflict in an open, healthy way is one of the most important ingredients for high performing teams. However, it is something many people struggle with, resulting in lots of miscommunication and unresolved tension.
Being Thoughtfully Fit gives you several tools to help manage conflict, including finding balance in your relationships, learning to respond thoughtfully, and choosing how you show up. If you struggle with dealing with conflict in your workplace, especially in cases where there may be a power differential, it helps to go back to your Thoughtfully Fit core: pause-think-act.
PAUSE before reacting. Give yourself a moment to get centered, so you don’t say something you’ll regret.
THINK about shared goals. Although you may not always agree about how to get there, colleagues often have similar goals. If you can focus on what you have in common, you’ll be better served in the long run.
Ready to ACT? Now that you’re calm and centered, some great next steps could include:
- Ask clarifying questions, and avoid making assumptions
- Be honest about how you’re feeling, and try to stay away from blame
- Get clear on what you need, and ask for it
The more we avoid conflict, the more it breeds resentment and leads to even more problems down the road.
What’s better than dealing with conflict? Avoiding it in the first place! Next week we’ll talk about how healthy boundaries can help you avoid tricky situations.