After my last post, you may be wondering how we landed on the name Thoughtfully Fit for my new leadership model. Part of the answer is no more complicated than the fact that I love a good metaphor! As a lifelong physical fitness devotee, I really liked the idea of building on that concept, but applying it to your mind instead of your body.
However, it’s more than just a good metaphor. The notion of being thoughtful applies perfectly to both the internal and external components of the model (don’t worry, we’ll explain it all in due time!). It helps us understand how we can think things through more carefully for ourselves, and how we can be more considerate of others.
Thinking before doing
The first way we are using ‘thoughtful’ focuses on your internal dialogue. The act of thinking carefully about choices, actions and words. It is about giving yourself the time and space to be more conscious and intentional about your behavior.
We all do a lot of things out of habit. Some of those are useful – there is really no need to be thoughtful about folding laundry or packing lunches. However, some of our daily habits could stand to be changed! Take some time to look around and identify things you are doing (or even saying) that may no longer serve you.
Next time you find yourself saying ‘I have to do xyz’ stop and think. Do you really have to? Do you want to? Is that how you want to spend your time? If you think about it carefully, you might realize that you don’t have to go to three houses on Christmas, or volunteer to bring the cookies again, or join that committee. Empower yourself to make different choices, simply by being thoughtful about the options!
Once you get in the habit of asking yourself these questions about small things, you’ll be even more ready to tackle bigger questions like ‘am I doing what I want with my life?’ I know it sounds ridiculous right now – but trust me! You can get there.
Thinking about others
The second focus on the word thoughtful is on our behavior towards others. Writing out a meeting agenda since you know someone likes visuals, or not calling after 8pm because you know they get up super early are examples of thoughtful gestures. But I will argue that you can incorporate this kind of thinking into almost all daily interactions – try to understand the behavior of others, and be mindful of their needs as well as your own.
Next time you receive an email that has you ready to fire off a snippy response, take a minute to be a little more thoughtful and see if you can find a way to approach the problem with greater empathy. Once you get good at emails, you can move to doing it in person, even if you just give yourself 10 seconds to take a breath, calm down, and think of a more measured response. With practice, you’ll find it gets easier and easier!
Sounds like a a lot of hard work!
The truth is, being Thoughtfully Fit is not easy. Just like being physically fit, it takes practice and commitment. It requires making unconscious choices more conscious. However, it can also make life easier, as it will help you avoid conflict, reduce stress, and improve your relationships. I completely believe that it’s worth it. Once you start trying it, let me know if you agree!
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