Michelle didn’t come into our coaching session saying, “Darcy, I’m avoiding a hard conversation.” She came in saying, “I don’t know what to do.” Except that she knew exactly what she needed to do. She just didn’t want to.
Jared was the top performer on her team. He was technically brilliant, hit every target, and made complex work look easy. But his behavior was eroding trust. He interrupted people. He dominated conversations. He rolled his eyes when asked to collaborate. The team felt it, even if no one was brave enough to name it out loud, and Michelle could sense the culture shifting in a direction she didn’t want.
Still, every time she thought about saying something, a voice stopped her.
What if he quits?
What if I lose my best contributor?
Can I afford to rock the boat right now?
So she did what many well-intentioned leaders do when the stakes feel high. She waited. She softened. She hinted. She told herself she’d bring it up when she had “more clarity,” even though what she really meant was when she felt less anxious.
And that’s where momentum is lost. Not in a dramatic moment, but in the slow drip of avoidance, when you keep telling yourself you’ll act later. When you’re ready. And your team quietly adjusts to the fact that later never comes.
When you need momentum, you don’t need more thinking. You need the next move.
The problem with waiting to feel ready is that your brain is incredibly persuasive. It will always find a reason why now isn’t the right time. If you’re busy, it’s not the right time. If you’re tired, it’s not the right time. If you don’t have the perfect words, it’s definitely not the right time. And if the person is high-performing? Forget it. Your brain will treat a direct conversation as basically the same as a 10-mile run: Painful. Impossible. No, thank you.
This is why capable leaders get stuck. Not because they lack skill, but because they have enough experience to imagine all the ways it could go wrong. And once your mind starts playing out worst-case scenarios, it becomes easy to confuse preparation with progress.
At a certain point, “thinking it through” becomes a hiding place. It might feel responsible, but if no action is taken, you’re not actually leading. You’re just staying safe.
Momentum doesn’t come from perfect certainty. Momentum comes from movement. From deciding, I’m going to take the next intentional step, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Pause. Think. Act. to get momentum.
Let’s take a look at the three steps of the Thoughtfully Fit Core: Pause. Think. Act.
Pause is a quick reset that helps you slow down just enough to get back in the driver’s seat. It’s the moment you create space between what’s happening and what you do next, so your response comes from intention instead of adrenaline. A pause can be as small as a deep breath.
Think is the step that turns stress into clarity by directing your attention to what’s true and useful. It’s where you sort through the noise and focus on the two questions that bring you back to your power: What are my choices? What do I control? This is where you identify your options and choose what to do next.
Act is where you take that next step, even if it’s small and even if you’re not fully ready. Acting with intention shifts you from circling the issue to moving forward.
Momentum starts with the moment you begin
We’ve been taught to believe that clarity comes first, and action comes second. If we plan enough, research enough, rehearse enough, we’ll eventually reach a point where we feel fully confident and fully certain, and then we’ll move forward without fear.
Unfortunately, real life rarely works that way.
That doesn’t mean you jump in recklessly. It means you stop treating discomfort like a roadblock. Sometimes discomfort is simply the feeling of growth, the moment you’re doing something that matters ,even if you can’t control the outcome.
This is especially true with hard conversations. You can plan for them, rehearse, and rewrite them in your head 107 times. And still, they’ll feel a little edgy right before you start. That doesn’t mean you’re unprepared. It means you’re human.
One sentence can create momentum
When Michelle and I discussed Jared, we didn’t start by building a twelve-step performance plan. We didn’t rewrite (again) the message that she had already prepared. We started with something far more practical: one sentence she could actually say when she knew she would be nervous to say it. Here’s the sentence she practiced:
“Can we have a conversation?”
That’s it. No lecture. No accusation. Just an opening. Because for so many leadership moments, the hardest part isn’t the entire conversation. It’s just starting. That one sentence is what moves you from Think to Act.
And once you act, you’re gaining momentum.
Conversation openers that help you Act and gain momentum
Here are a few options that work in real leadership moments, especially when you’re nervous, busy, or feeling that familiar pull to avoid.
Simple and direct
- “Can we talk about how this project is going?”
- “I’d like to have a quick conversation about something important.”
- “Do you have ten minutes today? There’s something I want to address.”
Calm and collaborative
- “Can we talk about what I’m noticing and get on the same page?”
- “I want to share an observation and hear your perspective.”
- “Can we check in about how things are going on the team?”
When you want to acknowledge discomfort without making it weird
- “This isn’t the easiest conversation, but it’s a necessary one.”
- “I’ve been thinking about something, and I want to talk it through with you.”
- “I don’t want to let this sit any longer.”
When you need to name impact without jumping to blame
- “There’s something I’ve noticed that’s affecting the team, and I want to talk about it.”
- “I’d like to discuss a pattern I’m seeing, because it’s starting to get in the way.”
- “Can we talk about how things are landing with others?”
When you’ve been avoiding it and you’re ready to stop
- “I should’ve brought this up sooner, and I’d like to address it now.”
- “I’ve been sitting on something, and it’s time we talk about it.”
- “I’ve been hoping this would resolve on its own, and it hasn’t.”
None of these sentences is magical on its own. What makes them powerful is that they pull you out of delay and into decision. They create a moment where you’re no longer preparing for the conversation. With one sentence, you’re having the conversation.
She said it out loud. The world kept spinning.
Michelle practiced the sentence more than she expected to, not because she needed to memorize it like a script, but because she wanted it to feel natural when she said it. Then she did it. She found a moment, took a breath, and said, “Can we have a conversation?”
Jared didn’t quit. He didn’t blow up. He didn’t storm out dramatically, as our brains tend to imagine will happen. He listened. And what surprised Michelle most was that he wasn’t fully aware of the impact he was having. He knew he was intense. But he didn’t realize how often he was shutting people down.
With that one conversation, something shifted. The problem wasn’t solved overnight, but there was momentum to drive change.
So if you’re waiting to feel ready before you Act, let me offer you this: you don’t need to feel ready. You just need to start. The moment you choose to act with intention, even in a small way, is the moment momentum begins.
Frequently Asked Questions about Momentum in Leadership
How do you create momentum when you don’t feel ready?
You create momentum by taking one intentional next step, even if you feel nervous. Momentum doesn’t require confidence first, but it does require movement. Starting with a simple conversation opener can be enough to shift you from stuck to forward motion.
What does momentum mean in leadership?
Momentum in leadership is forward progress that builds over time, especially when a leader takes action on what matters instead of avoiding it. It often shows up as clearer expectations, stronger trust, and more productive team dynamics.
Why do leaders lose momentum at work?
Leaders often lose momentum when they delay decisions, avoid hard conversations, or wait for clarity that never fully arrives. Over time, unresolved tension and unspoken issues slow progress and drain the team’s energy.
How can I build momentum at work when I’m overwhelmed?
Focus on one next move instead of trying to solve everything at once. Pause to regain control, think about what you can control, and act on the smallest step that creates progress
What is the “Pause. Think. Act.”?
Pause. Think. Act. is the core of Thoughtfully Fit®. Pause creates space to respond with intention, Think brings clarity through better questions, and Act is the intentional next step that creates momentum.
How do you start a hard conversation at work?
Start with a sentence that opens the door without overexplaining. For example: “Can we have a conversation?” or “Do you have ten minutes today? There’s something I want to address.” The key is just getting started in a thoughtful way.
Looking for more information about leadership development? Be sure to check out: The Ultimate Guide to Leadership Development.
