Darcy Luoma Coaching and Consulting

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How Strong Is Your Core?

I’ve been a coach for almost twenty years and have thousands of hours coaching leaders and teams in 48 different industries for hundreds of organizations.

I started noticing that there are some common problems that get in the way of – and sometimes prevent – leaders and teams from focusing on their work and accomplishing the mission of their organization. Regardless of industry, every team had people problems.  

So after extensive research, I developed my leadership model, Thoughtfully Fit, to help clear the hurdles caused by those people problems.

When you’re physically fit, all movements are easier. Whether it’s going for a walk or putting your own suitcase in the overhead bin. When you’re physically fit, you’re less likely to get injured, and you’re more prepared to take on any physical challenge that might pop up in your day. 

In the same way, being Thoughtfully Fit makes life easier, and you’re less likely to do things that you might regret later on. You handle your people problems thoughtfully, so you can get back to doing what you do best. 

What is key to being Thoughtfully Fit? You have to engage your core.

[Read more…]

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Stop Drinking Poison

Think about someone who makes you mad. Who doesn’t hold up their end of the bargain or treats you poorly. Now think about the last time they really made you mad. Got it?

Now that I’ve got you good and mad (you’re welcome!) pay attention to what is happening in your body as you think about them. Is your jaw clenched up? Ears hot? Chest feel tighter? [Read more…]

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Back to School? Just Say No.

As a people pleaser, I know a few things about saying yes too much. I want to be helpful, and so I appreciate being asked. I also like doing lots of things! But eventually, I got to the point where it was beyond too much. That’s when I started learning how to say no nicely, and my life took a turn for the better.

You might have heard: ‘No is a complete sentence.’ This is true. You are allowed to say no without justifying. However, it turns out people aren’t all that happy when you just say no. And if it’s your boss who’s asking? Well, you might need to follow that up with a few more words if you want to hold on to that job.

Fall is a great time to practice, as school and work ramp back up after summer. If you feel like you are being bombarded with requests and you’re watching any hope of free time disappear, then now is the time to say no. 

And if you struggle with it—like I used to—let me provide a few pointers that might help!

Soften the Blow

If you want to deliver a firm no with soft edges, try one of these. 

  • Not this. If you’re being asked to join a larger endeavor or something long-term like a committee, maybe there is a smaller way you can contribute. Offer to volunteer at their next event, or even make a small financial contribution instead. This lets them know that you value the work being done, even if you can’t commit fully.

  • Not now. Too busy? It’s okay to tell people that! Just let them know that what they are asking for can’t fit in your schedule at the moment, but you’d like to reconnect down the road. If it is something you really want to do but just don’t have time for, then think about how you can work it in at a later date by saying no to other things instead.

  • Not me. Don’t think you’re the best person for the request? Politely decline, but recommend someone else who might be a better fit. Just be sure not to send them your other people-pleasing, yes-woman friends. They need your help saving them from themselves!

Stay Honest and Brief 

It’s okay to say no, I promise (as I learned, it’s not a four-letter word!). Perhaps at work what gets assigned to you is really not up for discussion, which means you’ll need to be extra careful about what else you take on. Or you may want to ask your boss what other projects might be reprioritized to make space for this new assignment.

You can be honest with people and simply say ‘I’d love to, but I just can’t right now.’ I’m continually amazed how easily people accept this answer; turns out lots of people are expecting you to say no! And they appreciate the candor, instead of you overcommitting and under-delivering.

No need to lie or make up excuses, just bow out and offer one of the short and sweet alternatives above. If you went to school in the 1980s, you know a thing or two about just saying no. Now’s the time to make it work for you!

 

Download our FREE three-part video series, Getting Through Crisis with Thoughtfully Fit, and start your journey to being more intentional and bringing your best self to every situation!

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Learning from the masters of boundaries

I have one teenager and one tweenager, so I am no stranger to my kids setting boundaries. They tell me to leave all the time or to walk ten feet behind them when we are at the Brat Fest or to not ask any questions when I meet their new friend for the first time. Apparently, moms are still as embarrassing as they were when I was 13.

But the other day my team member Jill told me a story that really helped me appreciate just how good kids are at setting boundaries. It got me wondering when and why we stop. [Read more…]

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Protecting your emotional energy

by DLCC Coach Brian Yaucher

I look at our emotional energy as rechargeable batteries. When we are fully charged we are productive, energetic, happy and engaged with others. But over time if we do not ‘recharge’, we start feeling unhappy, stressed, exhausted and unfocused. [Read more…]

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