Darcy Luoma Coaching and Consulting

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Coaching is not wine with your bestie

Coaching is not wine with your bestie Blog Post

Although I loooooove coaching, I was reminded recently that a lot of people still don’t really know what coaching IS. So, I am here to help you understand. A lot of times people say to me – aren’t life coaches really just a paid friend? Well, we are paid, and often we’ll feel like a trusted friend, but…NO.

I love drinking wine with my friends, and I love coaching, but believe me when I say they are NOT the same. My friends are amazing, but they definitely don’t question me like my coaches do. They are not there to ask hard questions and help me increase my awareness. And as much as I love them, most of my friends are NOT focused on helping me create an action plan and providing accountability. Let’s face it – friends are for sharing, empathizing, sympathizing, laughing, cheerleading and so many other wonderful things (like happy hour!), but you shouldn’t expect them to be effective coaches.

So you might wonder, what IS coaching then? Well, let me start by telling you more about what it’s NOT. [Read more…]

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You say potato, I say I don’t cook

personal development, thoughtfully fit, learning, what will you become

I am not a cook. I don’t aspire to be a great cook, I don’t even enjoy watching cooking shows (and I’m shocked to learn there are actually people who do!). I am good enough at preparing nutritious food to keep my kids alive until tomorrow, and I have been blessed with a babysitter who loves meal planning and cooking. Could I learn to cook? Of course, I could! But I don’t want to. However, when there are things I can’t do that are holding me back, I am absolutely willing to put the work in to make it happen. This just isn’t one of them.

This month we’re focusing on ENDURANCE which is the third and final internal practice of Thoughtfully Fit®. Endurance is the idea that we can be different from how we are now if we are willing to work on it. Similar to Dr. Carol Dweck’s idea of a growth mindset, endurance encompasses the ability to change or learn something new in order to overcome obstacles or take that next step in life. [Read more…]

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Choose how you show up now (so you don’t have to apologize later!)

managing emotions, internal strength, thoughtfully fit, life coach

I realize that I talk a lot about not trying to change other people, and focusing on change in yourself instead. Part of this is because I know we don’t have the ability to change others, and the other part is that often when we change our own behavior, the actions and reactions of those around us transform as a result.

This month we’re focusing on STRENGTH which is the second internal component of Thoughtfully Fit®. Strength is all about how you show up. It’s about being strong enough to choose HOW you want to be in a particular situation. When we learn to be more intentional about how we show up, we can have a more positive impact on those around us. By pausing and thinking about HOW you want to be now, you’re less likely to have to apologize for bad behavior later. Let me tell you a story to demonstrate.

I said RELAX!

[Read more…]

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How Doing Nothing Changed My Life

stillness, mindfullness, life coaching, thoughtfullyfit

Of all the changes I have made to my life over the past forever, I think creating more stillness and white space in my life has been the most important. Stillness is one of the internal components of Thoughtfully Fit® and really sets the stage for all the other components.

When I try to figure out why it has been so critical, the easy answer is that I am less stressed because I don’t run around like a chicken with my head cut off all the time. And while that is certainly true, stillness also affords me the time to pause and think about what I really want, be intentional about my life, and ponder whatever is rattling around in my head. [Read more…]