Darcy Luoma Coaching and Consulting

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When Judging Isn’t Helping, Put The Gavel Down


I know I’m not alone when I say that Brené Brown is one of my favorite researchers and authors. One of her stories has been popping up in my head a lot lately.

Brené tells of a time when she was really frustrated by someone and it led to her wondering, “Do you think people are doing the best that they can?” Her husband’s response?

“I don’t know. I really don’t. All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.”

[Read more…]

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Time for a Team Check-Up

You might remember that my girls talked me into getting a dog shortly after safer-at-home policies began. I agreed, but on the condition that it was a foster dog. We designed our family dog alliance and spent almost four fun-filled (and slobber-filled) months with our two-year-old, 90-pound foster dog, Sirius.

It was about ten minutes after we dropped off Sirius with his forever family (after the tears were dried up) that the girls asked, “Can we get another foster dog?”

About ten days later, I agreed. Again.

Enter Samson: a two-month-old, 9-pound puppy.

[Read more…]

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What are your People Problems?

Do you ever have problems with the people you work with? Maybe they’re little ones that you just sweep under the rug. Or maybe they’re big problems that cause tension and conflict on a daily basis. Regardless of size, if you have people problems at work, you’re not alone.

My team and I have worked with leaders and teams at more than 200 organizations in 48 different industries. And even though each organization is unique, all of them had one thing in common: people problems. 

Because if people work together, there are going to be problems. People disagree. They have different styles. People are uncertain of priorities or expectations. They blow off the handle or just shut down during meetings. People get frustrated and don’t know what to say. They feel stuck and don’t know what to do.

Can you relate? I’m guessing you could add to this list.

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Your Perspective is Not the Only Perspective

By Nancy Turngren 

I recently flew on an airplane. Normally, that’s no big deal. But in the year 2020 things are different! 

This photo is me on the E Concourse at O’Hare International Airport – one of the busiest in the world. I’ve flown one other time during the pandemic and purposely avoided O’Hare because I assumed it’d be too crowded for my comfort level. Suffice to say, my assumption wasn’t close to accurate.

We often walk into situations where we assume what is going to happen. We have an idea in our mind of how things are supposed to be. Due to COVID-19, we are seeing things from a new perspective, and our assumptions are often wrong. We don’t personally have past experience of a pandemic, so we can’t use our experiences to base our thoughts and/or behaviors. 

But perspectives and assumptions aren’t just present in global pandemics.

[Read more…]

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Get in the Winner’s Circle

 

You can spend time wishing people would change or that circumstances would be different, but where does that get you? Most likely it gets you tired and frustrated, and no better off than you were before. 

Stephen Covey’s first habit in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Be Proactive, explores the Circle of Concern (everything that we care about), the Circle of Influence (things in our life that we can impact), and the Circle of Control (what we can actually change). 

The key is to put energy into focusing on things we can actually do something about. [Read more…]

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