In a recent coaching session, my client Bob described a frustrating issue with one of his direct reports Eddie (both names changed to preserve confidentiality). When Eddie receives feedback or people disagree with him, he gets defensive. He stops listening to what’s being said and starts to explain why he did what he did.
Our family currently has foster dog #3. (And yes, we continue to refine our family dog alliance each time we get a new pup!) The paperwork said that Tiny was a 70-pound male who lived with six dogs. However, she turned out to be a 50-pound female who tolerates other dogs.
But she’s an absolute sweetheart! Mellow and calm, she’s completely content to sit outside by herself watching the squirrels for hours at a time. Our fostering experience with Tiny is completely different than with Sirius (who was the polar opposite of calm—we didn’t see squirrels in our backyard his entire stay with us) and Samson (who whimpered anytime we were more than three feet away from him).
I watched “Meet the Press” last weekend, and in one segment they interviewed average Americans about the first presidential debate. One man’s thoughts, “We don’t know how to have a conversation anymore.”
I don’t disagree. There are lots of reasons for this in 2020. Let’s look at a few…
I recently presented a virtual training on coaching skills for managers. One of the activities focused on listening. For two minutes, the manager just had to listen to their partner and then repeat back what they heard. Sounds easy, right?
Well, there is one comment I hear every time I do this activity. Can you guess what it is?
“It was so nice to be able to talk and just be heard.”
I’ve been coaching business owners, executives, and managers for almost twenty years now. In the last few weeks, there’s been a common theme with nearly every coaching client.
I’m not sure what I should do.
What should I do about reopening, social distancing, and overall safety? What should I do to support my employees and colleagues who are hurting? What can I do about the injustice that I see in my community? Should I send my kids back to daycare or summer camps now that restrictions are lifting?
People don’t want to do the wrong thing. They don’t want to say the wrong thing.
No answers. Just questions.
