I recently presented a virtual training on coaching skills for managers. One of the activities focused on listening. For two minutes, the manager just had to listen to their partner and then repeat back what they heard. Sounds easy, right?
Well, there is one comment I hear every time I do this activity. Can you guess what it is?
“It was so nice to be able to talk and just be heard.”
I’ve been coaching business owners, executives, and managers for almost twenty years now. In the last few weeks, there’s been a common theme with nearly every coaching client.
I’m not sure what I should do.
What should I do about reopening, social distancing, and overall safety? What should I do to support my employees and colleagues who are hurting? What can I do about the injustice that I see in my community? Should I send my kids back to daycare or summer camps now that restrictions are lifting?
People don’t want to do the wrong thing. They don’t want to say the wrong thing.
No answers. Just questions.
You might be more connected to the world than ever, with your ever-present phone, social media feeds, and access to a bazillion YouTube videos.
But how well are you connecting with people around you?
In her book Rising Strong, Brene Brown says, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
It’s not about looking at pictures of people on a screen, it’s sharing with them in real-time, and letting them do the same. Connection requires us to be open about how we’re feeling, as well as to listen and make the other person feel heard. [Read more…]
As a consultant, reading the room is really important. If I am at a team retreat and notice that everyone is walking in and sitting far away from each other with their arms crossed, I know I’m going to earn my paycheck that day. But if everyone is walking in joking around with a cup of coffee and a smile? My job is going to be much easier!
One of the most important skills for being a leader is to be able to understand what’s happening beneath the surface and help it rise to the top in a productive way. [Read more…]
When people come to you with something important, what is your default response? Do you offer advice? Tell a story about when that happened to you? Chime in with all your relevant life experience? [Read more…]
