Darcy Luoma Coaching and Consulting

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My Year of Minimalism

 

Happy 2021! One of my favorite things to do at the start of a new year is look back on the last year. As tempting as it might be to quickly turn the page (especially on 2020!), I enjoy finding Stillness to reflect on the previous year and think about the lessons learned.

My intention for 2020 was minimalism. I wanted to reduce the clutter in my house, use products with minimal ingredients, and unsubscribe from anything that didn’t bring me joy. What I didn’t expect was COVID-19 giving me such an opportunity to take a minimalist approach to my schedule and life as well!

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Having Election Day Anxiety?

 

Back in 2000 (what feels like a lifetime ago!) I did advance work on a presidential campaign. I moved out of my apartment, put everything in storage, and traveled full-time across the United States. I’d arrive in a new city every week—in advance of the candidate—to make sure the venue was ready for the thousands of people who’d show up. 

My travel schedule was so intense that I got in the habit of pulling the phone book out of the hotel nightstand and putting it on the floor next to my bed—so when I woke up I could remember what city I was in.

On election day, I was a bundle of nerves. I kept replaying all the possible scenarios. What would happen if we won? What would happen if we lost?

By the time I got to the campaign headquarters I was spiraling, when I ran into my colleague Kimberly who was cool as a cucumber. I asked her, admittedly with a hint of judgement, “How can you be so calm?” Her response stays with me to this day:

“We can’t fast-forward to the result. We’ll find out who wins tonight. So why waste energy fretting about it?”

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What’s Taking Up Your Bandwidth?

Open Up Some Bandwidth and Gain Clarity

Like a lot of households right now, my family is online… a lot! Both my daughters are doing virtual school, and almost all my work is happening remotely. Fortunately, 98% of the time we don’t have any problems. 

But last week we did.

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We Never Had To Talk About This Before

I watched “Meet the Press” last weekend, and in one segment they interviewed average Americans about the first presidential debate. One man’s thoughts, “We don’t know how to have a conversation anymore.”

I don’t disagree. There are lots of reasons for this in 2020. Let’s look at a few…

  1. There is polarization. Opinions are strong. Leaders talk over each other. There’s not a lot of listening going on. The desire to be understood is stronger than the desire to understand others or find a resolution. (I admit I’m guilty of this on certain social issues when I disagree with every fiber of my being.) 
  2. This is all new. People are dealing with circumstances they’ve never experienced before. A coaching client recently said work-life balance doesn’t exist anymore—everything’s just blurred together. Another client said they never imagined needing more contact with co-workers because they’re feeling so isolated at home. 
  3. Uncertainty creates fear. Nobody knows when the pandemic will end, the economy will improve, or the outcome of the election. When people operate from a place of fear or anxiety, fuses can be short. Conversations between even the closest colleagues can be strained. And combining fear or anxiety with relationships that are already low on trust? Well, that’s where things can go downhill exponentially fast.

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I See What You Are Doing There

There are so many things I love about my colleague, Jill. 

But one of them is the fact that she gets me. For instance, Jill knows that I like it when my work is recognized. If I’m working hard, I like it when someone else notices it. And without fail, Jill notices. Always. She notices when I go the extra mile. She notices when I work through something challenging. And she recognizes me for a job well done (and I know it’s sincere because she also gives me critical, tough, valuable feedback when I didn’t do so well). 

The impact of this is that I love working with her, and I look forward to our conversations. Her recognition motivates me to want to keep doing good and working hard. And I’m not alone. 

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