I can’t tell you how many times I hear from clients “If this other person would be different, everything would be fine.” But as I have said a million times (and will say a million more): you can’t change other people. It doesn’t work.
Live and Let Live
How much time do you spend complaining about other people? If you’re like most of us, I am guessing a lot. We complain about bad drivers, rude customer service people, unhelpful colleagues, mean bosses, etc. And although everyone might have bad habits, or at least habits you don’t like, it’s really not your problem.
All you can control is your reaction to this behavior.
One of the most important reasons for accepting others as they are is that it allows us to stop carrying around all this baggage of anger and resentment. This article from Psychology Today summarizes one of my favorite zen stories about this topic. The author, Dr. Harriet Lerner, goes on to say,
“Chronic anger and bitterness dissipate our energy and sap our creativity. Each of us has a certain amount of energy that fuels our spirit. If five percent—or seventy-five percent—of that energy is directed toward carrying someone who has wronged us, then that same percentage is unavailable for other pursuits.”
Resolve to Stop Fixing
The Thoughtfully Fit practice of FLEXIBILITY is about stretching to accept others as they are. Practicing flexibility also means accepting that you are not going to be able to ‘fix’ those around you. If their behavior is something you cannot accept, then your best choice is to set some boundaries and protect your peace, rather than try to change them. Set them down and find better uses for all that energy you were wasting on wishing they were different.
Get Ready for a Thoughtfully Fit 2019
If you can follow our four resolutions to take a breather, think twice, talk less and stop fixing, you’ll be well on your way to a Thoughtfully Fit 2019! You’ll have more energy and creativity to spend on the things that are most important to you, and a little more stillness to help keep you grounded. I can’t wait to hear how you’re doing!
Harness the power of coaching to strengthen relationships, improve communication, and empower others.