by Deb MacKenzie, DLCC Vice President
What the hell did I get myself into?! I’m a total type A, and even worse, I act like one! What am I doing with all these “nice” people who are all touchy feely? That sums up my first few months working for Darcy Luoma Coaching & Consulting.
I came from a very dysfunctional corporate environment. Our leader was a micro-manager who always looked for what you did wrong, rather than the 100 things you did right. Needless to say, I’d hardened over the years in that toxic environment. Then I start working with Darcy and it was a huge culture shock to say the least. All of a sudden I’m working with people who valued my opinion and celebrated my successes (see, I even talk a little “coachy” now and then!).
I have to admit that it’s been refreshing, and I absolutely love working with Darcy and the team. I’ve learned a lot and even changed; yes, an old dog can learn new tricks. Here are a few things that stand out from the past three years I’ve been working on Darcy’s team:
You can have difficult conversations without someone “losing”
We’ve all been there before, those conversations that make us nervous or put us on the defensive. I used to dread any kind of tough conversation because it always felt like there had to be a winner and a loser, and god forbid I was on the losing side (even worse was being the winner because I was making someone else the loser). Those conversations always ended with some bad air and resentment. Today, I know that doesn’t have to be the case, and definitely isn’t within DLCC. I welcome the ability to discuss whatever it is, however tough it is, and move past it with everyone feeling good at the end. It’s refreshing!
Coaching is truly helpful and can lead to real change
I hardly knew what coaching was when I joined the team. Honestly, I thought it was a lot of fluff. I didn’t really see the value in it until I started talking to clients about how powerful it had been for them. Then I found out first hand this past year. I began working with a coach that Darcy had recommended, and provided as a benefit of my employment, and it was transformational! It went places I would have never expected it to go. I actually showed some vulnerability (which really surprised me because I don’t let down my defenses often), it got to some root causes of certain behaviors, and it helped me be more aware of behaviors that I wanted to change.
I by no means became a completely different person, but I have definitely changed. It’s still an ongoing process. But those who have worked with me in the past have commented on how the noticeable the difference is in the way I work with others. I would say that’s a big win for me thanks to coaching and working for a coach.
Awareness is key!
I mentioned awareness briefly, but I think it’s something that I need to point out directly. I think one of the key things I learned is just to more aware of my own actions. You know when you feel bad about something but let it go without saying anything? I used to do that all the time and boy would I bury stuff deep. Now, I’m taking stock and trying to be more aware of my actions. When I say or do something I don’t feel good about I try to make it right. It’s funny how a lot of the time the other person didn’t even notice “xyz” and by just getting it off my chest by apologizing or bringing an issue to light, everyone feels better. I feel better because the weight has been lifted and the other person feels good because I made a conscious effort to communicate proactively and make something right.
I love working with Darcy and the team, and I’m still the A-type every business needs. I’m by no means perfect, nor do I strive to be. I’m a bit rough around the edges and always will be…that’s me! But, I can soften those edges when need be thanks to what I’ve learned the past few years.
